A Fresh Perspective

Last month, I had the incredible opportunity to spend 17 days in Malaysia. While we were able to spend a couple of glorious days relaxing on the beach, we spent most of our time in the capital city of Kuala Lumpur volunteering at various sites for at-risk youth.

Our first day as volunteers was also the kids’ first day of a new school year. We learned that the school served teens who were legally unable to attend government schools because, for one reason or another, they did not have the required papers. The 6 of us at that site listened incredulously as students and teachers alike flipped effortlessly between Malay and English, sometimes even falling into what is known as “Manglish,” where each word in a sentence is a different language.

Throughout our time in Malaysia, we also did various tours, cultural experiences, and even a Buddhist wellness retreat. All the while, it repeatedly struck me just how little I had understood about this part of the world, and how Malaysian culture somehow both stood in stark contrast to and was similar to American culture. Examining this further helped me leave with some amazing lessons and new perspectives. Here are 5 things I brought back with me:

Stop hurrying

Our culture constantly has us in a hurry, our schedules filled to the brim with every possible commitment. We tend to think that if we aren't exhausted at the end of every day, we haven't done enough. In Malaysia, there is none of that “shoulding” or “not enough”. People do what they can, when they can. Businesses don’t open if employees are sick. Buses get where they are going eventually. The traffic is worse than New York City, but no one honks. There is simply a sense of calm that pervades the atmosphere. With such different expectations came less anxiety and stress. Why wouldn't we want to feel that way?

Goodbyes don’t have to be forever

Before we left, my professor told me, “when you make a friend in Malaysia, you make a friend for life.” Sure, I thought, until we are back in our respective countries, in our busy lives. I can barely keep up with all of my friends and family here, how in the world is that even possible? Then we got there, and we built incredible friendships with everyone from the kids to the bus drivers, even the hotel manager. On our last day, not a single person said “goodbye” to us. Each of them looked us in the eyes and said “see you later,” and meant it. In Malaysian culture, there is no such thing as goodbye. Everyone you meet was meant to be in your life, and you will see them again someday. Some of this has to do with faith and various beliefs about life after death, but it is a beautiful notion that no goodbye is ever forever.

You don’t have to have much to help others

Malaysians do not live in a culture of lack, like America often tends to be. We are always striving for the best, the newest, the most expensive thing, and when we fall short, we blame. We blame ourselves, we blame others, and we blame our circumstances. Somehow, who we are and what we have is never enough. The Malaysian people I met live in a culture of abundance, despite the material things they don’t have. This allows them to appreciate every little thing they do have, and view the non-essentials as extras to share. One day, we were able to volunteer with the teens in a village outside the capital populated by indigenous families. Many of the families were without money, jobs, electricity, or education. Our new teenage friends spent the day painting, cleaning, and teaching with the children in the village. They saw themselves as the privileged ones. At one point, one of our students said to me, “we want to show them that they are just like us. We know they are human beings and that they deserve everything we have.”

Remember to have gratitude for the little things

Along with a culture of abundance comes gratitude for everything they have. The gratitude my new friends had for a sunny day, a cold water bottle, or a beautiful flower helped me realize all of the things I take for granted. For example, winter has never been my favorite season. I tend to avoid going outside whenever possible, and complain about the weather constantly. However, after spending an hour trying to describe snow to kids who have never seen it and likely never will, I came home to Wisconsin with a new appreciation for our four seasons. Every time it snows, I think of them, and I take a moment to be in awe of the beauty of a fresh snowfall.

Nicki Phillips has been with Esprit as a counseling practicum student this semester through the University of Wisconsin/Oshkosh.  Next semester, she will be doing her internship with us.  She brings a fresh perspective to her work along with a vibrant personality.  She has contributed many great ideas, including informative leaflets you will find in our waiting room.